home and family new host

Never has our world been more divided than today. Politics, religion, sports and on and on I could go. For the most part, so many people think being divided is a negative thing. And for many people it is.

However, after being married to the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage for almost 50 years, I have discovered that a divided house can be a very happy house. It just depends on how you are divided and what divides you. That makes all the difference in the house.

Being married as long as I have been does not make me an expert in this area. I am only an expert in forbearance, which is the reason there is always a smile on my face. Whether you believe it or not, that smile is genuine.

All of this came to focus recently when we finally finished adding an office room to our house. It has been in process for at least four years. That’s where my “forbearance” comes to play.

When I think everything is ready to close, something happens that kicks that can down the road another mile or two.

Last year we were almost ready to finish when the coronavirus hit and put everything on the pause. I’m not too fond of pause unless on a cat or dog.

So, except for some bookcases, the office has come to the point of completion.

This has brought our house to the Great Divide, which has brought a lot of happiness to our home.

On the other side of our house is a room called the Craft Room, which the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage supervises. This is a room that, although I may be allowed to step in, for various reasons, I don’t.

I look into that room, and I see all kinds of crafty stuff that I have no idea in the world what it is. And believe me, I am not going to ask what anything in that room is.

So, at one end of the house, we have my wife’s Craft Room, and at the other end of the house, we now have the Pastor Cave, of which I am the sole supervisor and administrator. It is the place where I am in control of everything.

When my wife is in her Craft Room on one side of the house, and I’m in my Pastor Cave on the other side, we are significantly divided but enthusiastically happy.

My wife does her thing in her room, I do my thing in my room, and the twain shall never cross paths.

This great divide has brought a lot of happiness to our home.

The saying is true, what divides us may destroy us. But, if put together craftily, what divides us may bring us together on a different level.

She’s happy in her room, I’m happy in my room, and the house rings with enthusiastic happiness.

Occasionally, my wife will come to the door of the Pastor Cave and say very enthusiastically, “Look what I just made.” Then she shows me some craft that she has put together.

Because I’m not very crafty, what she shows me is very delightful, and I express my great delight in her craftiness.

One of the essential aspects of a good marriage is knowing what the other person delights in.

For example, my wife delights in crafts. I could not spend five minutes in a craft room working on some craft. I would go absolutely insane. I probably would cut myself using some of them in her craft room.

My wife takes great delight in working in her craft room. And you know what they say, a delighted wife means a delighted husband.

I am delighted when she is delighted, and that makes everything come together.

I’m happy when I’m in my Pastor Cave and take great delight in what I’m doing. I have everything at my fingertips that I need to do that makes me happy.

If our home weren’t so divided, we wouldn’t have all that delight that we enjoy right now.

When we first started our marriage escapades almost 50 years ago, I had no idea that we would end up so marvelously divided as we are today. If someone would’ve told me that she would have her room one day to do what she likes to do and I would have my room to do what I like to do, I would’ve thought they were crazy.

I enjoy crazy today.

The other night I mentioned to my wife as we were watching TV that someone in the church had a birthday.

“Oh, my,” she said very enthusiastically, “I need to go and make them a birthday card.” And off she went to make a birthday card.

It may be a thank you card that we need to send to some family member or friend. And the good thing about all of this is, we don’t have to go out to purchase any cards of any nature or holiday.

It’s so wonderful to have all that you need where you need it.

I read in the Bible just the other day a wonderful verse, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3).

Amos must’ve been a husband to say something like this. The important thing is the focus of the agreement. At the opposite ends of our house, my wife and I are in full agreement.

Finally you are treating yourself to some serious luxury and comfort for your bed. In these challenging times, spending so much time at home, we need to take care of ourselves. What better way than creating an oasis of sheer comfort and luxury for your bed. You may also need a new mattress, but the addition of a featherbed or down topper can defer this purchase for a while.

You have settled on a featherbed or a down bed (down topper ), but you are not sure which is better, more comfortable, more luxurious and of course which style. It is important to remember that there is a huge difference in a featherbed and a down topper. Both may weigh the same but the down is the light fluffy cluster that lofts up to make a puffy topper, soft and delicious to sink into. The feather is flat with quill so delivers a less lofty and firmer experience. Down is more costly than feathers but it will last for decades.

Regardless of which one you choose the style is important. A hundred years ago it was just a bag, no stitching. Also back then likely all feathers or a blend of feather and down.

This style requires much more fill to eliminate unwanted shifting. If under filled you would find yourself sleeping on fabric as the filling would have shifted to the sides. If filled adequately this super pillow topper will be very puffy and feel wonderful.

The baffle box. Baffle means there is a wall of fabric between the top layer and the bottom fabric layer. This allows for the filling (especially down) to loft up. Sew through featherbeds and down toppers are available, but sewn through basically means you do not need nearly as much filling. It is also important to remember the more filling you have, the more cushioning the featherbed or down topper will deliver and thereby more comfort and super luxury. The baffle box has an opening in each box so over time the filling can migrate, however this does take some time, maybe years. It is not easy to massage the filling back to its individual box once it has moved out. After a few years the filling will end up at the sides, top and bottom. Renovation can resolve this issue.

The 3 part baffle horizontal style is another choice. Like the bag style it takes more filling but not as much as it has some stitching.

The most efficient style is the baffle channel. There is enough stitching to limit movement and the channels are wide so with the baffle you can have plenty of filling. The filling can only move in 2 directions up and down and for this reason it is easy to re-position the fill when fluffing up. When you change the bedding just shake from the bottom 2 corners, then take the heel of your hand and move the fill up the channels. Rotate foot to top and shake those 2 corners and use the heel of your hand to reposition the fill. Voila, like new.

Another tip for using your featherbed or down bed is instead of putting it under your fitted sheet which gives a neat look, a better experience is to put it in its cover on top of your fitted sheet in another fitted or flat sheet. It may not be as neat, but the level of luxury and comfort is incomparable.

For care of your featherbed or down bed it is recommended renovation (clean the filling and new cover) every 7 to 10 years. In between take it outside and lay on a table or over chairs on a warm, dry sunny day. If this is not possible open all the windows on warm, sunny, breezy day.